Death Wish
by spiritaways
Summary: Aya (Ran) had a wish and Crawford has something to do with it. Bad Summary, I knew
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer:Brad Crawford belonged to me!!! Hahahahaha!!! Well.. Actually none of these super sexy hot guys belong to me. Bleh!!!

Warning: Is this R??? or PG13?? Anyway... it's still yaoi

Author's note: This came out, out of nowhere when I was listening to Braija (Full Metal Alchemist choir) and Half Pain (ending song of Witch Hunter Robin) It's not beta, so all those fumbling sentences and past, present, future tense were all jumbled up. Not to mention OOC and baaad spelling. Bleh!!!

I know I have to update Borderline but Crawford refused to work with me because he caught me ogling over Asami Ryuichi from Viewfinder no Hyouteki. and consider this fic as a substitute while I try to persuade him to work on the continuation.

Death Wish 

Aya Fujimiya had a wish and it was all because of the Oracle. Yes... non other than the cold bastard leader of Schwarz. Brad Crawford.

Thinking about the American make his heart twisted in pain. He had tried to forget the older man, but he just can't. He was addicted to him. His touch. His true smile that only meant for him alone. He was happy. Keyword is 'was'.

But his happiness was cut short when Crawford decides to end their relationship without any explanation whatsoever. Leaving him pondering and confused on what went wrong.

He remembered that day very well, stamped in his memory forever. He also recalled how calm he had been. Being a proud leader of Weiss who seldom show any emotion on his stoic face, Aya had said he understood and walk away from the older man's apartment with his head held high. He didn't even spare a second glance at the American, while inside he was actually afraid, afraid that if he did turn around, he will crumble right in front of that proud man.

He had avoided Yohji, Ken and Omi that day. Answering them with his usual 'Hn' without even listening to their question and when Yohji asked if he was all right when he look paler than usual, he nodded absently at the blonde and excused himself before retreating straight to his room. It was not until he reached his room, after locking it, that he felt down to his knees on the floor and cried as hard as he could.

When he woke up in the early dawn, he was curling tightly on the floor. This is not the first time people that he cared and loved so much had decided to abandon him right after he sacrificed everything. Aya-chan had deserted him when she found out that his brother still a ruthless killer. He had explained to his sister a couple of times that it is not easy to get out from Kritiker. Aya still left him; she had decided to enroll herself in art school in France. Far away from him. Away from her sinful brother.

And now that he had lost his only pillar of his life, he felt his world crushed. Empty. Frozen. He became more withdrawn and usually preferred to spend his time alone in his room brooding.

Schwarz and Weiss never clashed in a mission anymore. Somehow, Aya was glad because he doesn't have to meet Crawford. Because if he did, he wont be able to hold his calm façade anymore and will beg for the older man to have him back. He just can't move on.

One day, he accidentally saw Crawford coming out from an expensive restaurant, a place where he always brought him for a romantic dinner together. He nearly called out for the older man when he saw a woman suddenly snaked her arm around the handsome American. Realization downed to him that would be the reason why the older man decide to dump him. He had someone else, and by the look of it Crawford was happy. He heard him laughing. He felt cold, his heart tightening, clenching his fist he quickly left the place, unable to contain the feeling of anguish overwhelming him.

That's when he decides that he had no point of living anymore. He had become suicidal. Courting with death whenever he was in the mission. But then, it seems that even death had decided to elude him, he was somehow miraculously saved and sometimes he swore that someone had prevented him from being killed.

That! Or someone up there just hated him so much.

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Crawford had been observing the redhead from afar in his lonely night since he broke off with the young man. Always make himself hidden whenever Weiss had a mission and watched the graceful but deadly moved of Abyssinian. Sometime he had to restrain himself from reaching to his ex-lover whenever he saw the young man's forlorn face. As stony as those beautiful face look, his violet eyes give it away. The pain that could never be healed and it's all because of him.

He knew about Abyssinian destructive mode, Schuldig told him about Ran's suicidal act and how the redhead will always volunteer being in the front line or strike the enemy without waiting for any back up from his team mate. Crawford had make sure that no harm would befall to the redhead by commanding Nagi and Schuldig to keep an eye on Ran whenever he is the mission and keep him safe. Most of the time he would do it himself, like one of the hidden guard was about to shoot the redhead. Crawford had gunned him down first before the guard could pull the trigger.

Schuldig once had asked him why he ended the relationship when he was actually happy. He brushed off the German saying that it is none of his business and walk off with his usual unreadable expression. The annoying telepath had shrugged and told him offhandedly that his action will result in destroying the redhead. Schuldig proved his theory is not wrong by giving him the mental image of Ran, grinning ferally at the target he was about to kill, challenging his opponent to shoot him before he sliced him. Luckily, Schuldig was there, he had killed the man with his mental blast without Abyssinian knowledge. The redhead had cursed loudly to no one in particular. Schuldig shook his head, Abyssinian was pouting because he didn't get to be killed.

Crawford merely glared at the telepath as he walked off.

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Ran stood as his usual place in the briefing room and let Manx do all the talking about briefed Weiss latest mission. They were supposed to assassinate the most wanted man by Interpol for human trade, trading young males for prostitution. They were instructed to kill the man in his 'all-boys' party tonight.

Once Manx leave the room, Weiss gathered around trying to decide who will volunteered to be the 'helpless' victim of male prostitution. There's no other way, Manx had said, if Weiss wanted to accomplish this mission, one of them had to the extent of having sex with their target and she had left them to decide among themselves. Surprisingly, especially to his teammate, Aya volunteered. He couldn't care less in letting his body being used as long as the mission success.

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Crawford was infuriated; Schuldig had never seen the calm and collected Oracle like this before. With a clipped tone he had instructed the telepath to get ready for a party. Someone has to be killed tonight. Schuldig knew why Crawford had turned suddenly hostile. He had snooped into one of the Weiss kitten mind and found out about tonight's mission. Crawford merely smirked when he told him about the mission but Oracle expression changed when he told about what his ex-kitten had planned to do. Anger clearly shown in his mocha brown eyes and with a thought that somehow he had failed to shield from the telepath. 'No one will touch Ran except him'.

Schuldig was curious. Why would Crawford be so overly protective when he is the one doing the dumping? He could see no reason about it. Crawford was definitely hiding something from him. One way or another he will force the older man to spat it out. At this moment, he would let the matter go for now, someone needed to be slapped out of his silliness.

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Aya was lying naked in the room with his target with a smile playing on his rosy lips.

"I didn't remember having such a beauty in my possession. How could I overlook you?" the man known as Kano Kigai said as he gazed lustfully at the redhead.

"May be you had too many that you failed t o notice me." Aya answered, biting his lower lips playfully and the man who was now hovering on top of him.

"With your beauty? I doubt so. But nevertheless...." Kigai grinned while taking off all his clothes. "So pretty." He murmured as he bent down, beginning to lick the redhead's nipple with his tongue.

Aya did not turn his face away; instead he moaned and began to excite the other man more with his hands, using his soft fingers trailing on the man's spine. The man could not hold his lust any longer and latched his lips at the nape of the redhead's neck and parted the legs.

Aya was ready to strike once the man entered him, his katana was hidden under the huge mattress, he was just about to reach for his sword when the suddenly the light went out. Second later he heard a shot, and then the man heavy body slumped on top of him.

Aya pushed the man away and cursed at whoever that had spoiled his plan when his wrist was seized by a strong grip. Then the light was back on and his eyes were suddenly locked by an angry gaze of mocha brown eyes.

"Brad???" He gasped.

His shock upon seeing his ex-lover didn't last long, anger suddenly hit him. How dare Crawford interfered in his mission. Wrenching his wrist away, he turned to retrieve his katana. Without warning, he began to strike the American. The American aim his gun at Ayaas a warning that if the redhead moved further he will not hesitate to shoot him.

Aya was still charging until the nozzle was aimed right on his temple. Dropping his katana, Crawford's eyes widened slightly as the redhead gripped his hand that was holding the gun and forced his finger to pull the trigger. He had not foreseen this and he gasped.

That was the decision that Aya had made, if he was to be killed, he rather died in Brad's hand, he knew he could not beat Crawford's gift but the American could not always foresee things especially when it was done spontaneously. He gave Crawford his last smile. A genuine but sad one before everything turned dark.

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Eheh Should this be the end? grin


	2. Part 2

And here, I humbly present the second part runs off

Disclaimer:Brad Crawford belong to me!!! Hahahahaha!!! Miinnee!!! My precioussssssssss!!! Well.. Actually none of these super sexy hot guys belong to me. Bleh!!!

Warning: PG13?? No sex yet.. hehehe… Anyway… it's still yaoi Oh!! There are spoilers from Schwarz Dramatic Album and I used some of their words in it. Bleh

Author's note: To those who wanted the continuation, you had your death wish. Why? Because I have no idea when I'm going to continue this and because I think it's some kind of not original. shrugs I was supposed to end it at Part 2 and concentrate on Borderline… but darn that Crawford!!! Again, this is not beta. I just wrote this during the meeting where everyone were talking simultaneously and I don't know what to write in the minutes Therefore, there will be weird sentences, repeated sentences, jumbling past and present tense and I have no idea what I am writing shake head and somehow I feel this one is not interesting enough.

To those who reviewed, thanks a lot. Any idea how should I continue this story? May be from the reviewers' input I can put on my thinking cap that's getting rustier and rustier everyday.

Death Wish – Part 2

Ran's body slumped forward and Crawford quickly caught the younger man. Schuldig walked out from his hiding place.

"What? No thank you from the mighty leader?" The German chuckled at him. "Lucky I came here on time, isn't it? If not because of my Oh-Great-Power and my talent of course, his head would be like a watermelon that fell from 16th Floor."

"Did you…."

"Yeah! Yeah! I blasted his mind; enough to make him sleep for at least … hmmm… let me see… " Schuldig began to count his fingers and showed 2 of his fingers at the older man. "Two days" he smirked. "Well…. At most he would wake up with a major headache rather than no head at all."

Grunting, Crawford carried the redhead in his arms. "Get me the blanket. He needed to be covered."

The German gazed thoughtfully at Aya's naked form. "He had such a lovely skin for an assassin." He commented.

Crawford growled at him and he grinned, kicking the dead man away from his path, he pulled the bed cover and handed it to the older man.

"Inform the rest of his Weiss that I am taking their leader home."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!!!!!!!"

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Crawford was furious. So furious that he thought of slapping the younger man in front of him senselessly. He had contained his anger for the past two days, waiting for the redhead to wake up and vented his anger on him. It was the bullheaded redhead fault anyway that he lost his temper. Even if he had no more rights on the redhead body but still… Ran should not let himself being used like that.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He yelled at the stony face.

"What the fuck do you care?" Ran shot back, glaring at older man trying to control his tear from falling. He was angry and frustrated when he woke up feeling very much alive rather than dead. Not to mention the fucking headache. Internally he cursed Schuldig for ruining everything.

"I don't give a damn shit what you want to do with your live, Fujimiya. But, don't you ever dare pulling that kind of stunt again… or..." Crawford paused. He is not sure how continue instead he balled his fingers into a tight fist, trying to control his urge to hit the volatile redhead who is sitting crossed leg on his bed.

"Or what?" Ran got up and stood in front of the American, leveling his eyes with the older man in much defiance. "Kill me?" He snorted. "I gave you that chance, why didn't you used that golden opportunity to get rid of me since you didn't gave a damn shit of what I want to do with my life?"

Crawford shook in rage, unable to control his anger, he grabbed his ex-lover hair in a full fist forcing the younger man head to look up at him. Ran merely raised his eyebrow, challenging Crawford to hit him. He was actually confused on why the older man was so worked up with what happened. It couldn't be that Crawford was angry because he was about to let other man fucked him. Crawford left him, so he shouldn't have cared who would dirty him. Besides, it was a job requirement and furthermore this damn man had found someone else to replace him on his bed. A fucking woman!

Thinking about the woman he saw holding Crawford's hand lovingly the other day make his blood boiled again. He began to shake violently trying to shook off the man's tight grip on his hair.

"LET. ME. GO."

"No." Crawford replied simply.

"Damn you Crawford! Let me go. NOW!" He began to kick the older man violently.

_/Schuldig/_

_/Ja? /_

_/Could you..?/_

_/Why? The mighty cat clawed you? /_

_/NOW/_

_/Ch!! So demanding/_

Ran gave him another kick at his shin when he suddenly stopped, raising his head to meet Crawford's eye with his own. The American saw something like a hurt and betrayal in those lovely shades of violet eyes before it was closed. Sighing, he carried the young man back to bed and tucked him under the covers.

He wanted to talk to Ran, explaining to him the reasons why he left him. Well… he was planning to lie rather than explaining, so that Ran would move on and end this unhealthy wish of his. But, with his current flaring temper and Ran's hot-blooded mood, they would end up hitting each other than talking sensibly. With a heavy sigh, he step out of the room and locked the door from the outside.

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"How long you're planning to keep the wild kitty here? If I may ask... Oh-Mighty- Leader" He heard the German asking.

Crawford gave him a look which Schuldig blithely ignored. The American was hiding something not only from Fujimiya but from his own team as well and he didn't like it. He had waited for two days, didn't want to confront Crawford when he was in the mood. He prefers to stay alive than facing the barrel of the American's gun. He might be his teammate but his leader would not hesitate to shoot him in his anger. "Why don't you tell me something? I know you planning to lie to Fujimiya. If you want to lie to him about that woman, he knew about it."

"How did he know?" Crawford asked stiffly.

"Oh! You mean you didn't foreseen it?" He smirked.

Crawford glared at him. "Ch! He believed that you left him because of her and he was just a substitute all this time."

Crawford merely silent at this information.

"So, now… I want to know what is this all about." Schuldig face now turned serious.

Crawford sighed and took off his glasses, looking at it and put it back to his face. "Remember our last battle with a team from Rosenkruz?"

"Falbros?" Schuldig asked incredulously. "Are you telling me that damn blind clairvoyant is still alive? If I remember correctly, I saw with my own eyes you blew his brain out and killed that kung fu expert woman from Hong Kong, watsername…."

"Sylvia" Crawford interrupted.

Schuldig grinned suddenly. "Oh! the one that good on bed and oooh.. if Ran knew that you had s…"

"Enough!" Crawford snapped at the German. Schuldig shut his mouth instantly but still leering. Nagi who was listening from the door, entered and sit next to the German, eyes fixed on Crawford. He had joined the fight with them and suddenly his mind wondered to Farfello and how is he doing with that Sally woman.

Crawford waited until he gets the full attention he needed from his teammate and begin to speak. "Rosenkruz is sending another team to hunt us and bring us back to them. Dead or Alive." He snorted before continue, "Preferably Alive and they will use whatever means to get us back there."

Schuldig face soured at this news. "That why you decide to dump Fujimiya. He'll be the easiest target to get to you if they knew."

Crawford nodded. "If we need to fight with whatever Rosenkruz is throwing at us, I don't want Ran's life in danger."

Schuldig rolled his eyes and suddenly laugh. Crawford raised his eyebrow at him questioningly. "Am I telling you a joke?"

"No… No… That's not it." He tried to swallow his bubble of laughter. "I never believe that a person who once arrogantly said that 'Only fools believe in love' was in love. Eh!! Nope no… still in love, the keyword is still.."

"Would you stop babbling Schuldig." Nagi chided him.

"Ch! I don't get any respect even from a 15 year old chibi." Nagi rolled his eyes and turn his concentration back to the American.

"So, what are you going to lie to Fujimiya? Knowing him.." Nagi asked.

Crawford turned his head towards the room where the redhead was sleeping.

"It is best for him not to know. Knowing him as Nagi had said. He would rather die with you than leaving you to fight them."

Crawford turned his face back to Schuldig who was regarding him seriously. "Yes, that and the rest of Weiss would blindly follow his trail."

"Ch! Now you are worried about the rest of Weiss. Charming! And yeah! Great Leader! When did you plan to tell us this? When it's too late?"

"I am thinking on how to counter them when we finally meet them." Crawford answered defensively.

"Alone?" Schuldig asked; his voice turned soft. "Aren't we still a team Crawford? You don't trust our judgment in your tactical strategies?"

"I…" Crawford lost his words.

"Whatever is coming Crawford? Nagi and I would be there. We wont back off and to hell we will surrender." Nagi nodded solemnly. "But now… you have to deal with that volatile redhead lover of yours."

"No need to." Ran appeared suddenly, crossing his arms and was scowling at Crawford. "I heard everything." He told the older man.

TBC? Or not TBC? Run…. Forest…. Run…..


	3. Part 3 1of 2

I'm not going to say anything! I know this story is crappy run before anyone could flame

Don't ask me why I put Chapter 3 in two parts. The second part will come when I have the will to do it. And explained what happened before Aya get out from the house.

And I didn't send this story to be beta so there goes my grammar, dear God… ahh… if my English lecturer still around she could have back slap me… HARD. I'm writing this while my Boss is giving a looooooong speech and presentation on Loyalty to the Company so forgive me if this chapter is not as per anyone expectation.

Aya walked out from the house with a mixed feeling. Half shock because of what Crawford had told him and another half are a mixture of hurt and anger towards the older man.

Raising his hand to flag a passing cab, he gave the driver the direction to the Flower shop and changed his mind, giving the driver to another direction. He paid the cab, getting down and walked slowly toward the house he used to stay before he joined Kritiker.

He pressed the bell once. When nobody answered the door, he pressed it twice and as he began to lose his patience, he pressed the bell numerous times until the figure he knew so well opened the door.

"Ran?" A sleepy voice with a hint of surprise greeted him.

"What took you so long to open the damn door?" He snapped and brushed through the standing figure and walked into the house even he was not invited. He doesn't need an invitation; he was at one of his ex teammate when he was with Crasher.

"You look like hell." Yuushi spoke at last after scrutinizing the lithe form who was crouching on his sofa, with an anguish expression on the beautiful face. He had a bad feeling about this unexpected visit. Ran seldom visits his house. They only meet at the bar where Ran would talk about his previous mission or about his lover. He had begun to laugh and smile, but today he had his usual cold mask, which is not good.

"I am in one." Ran finally answered snapping Yuushi out of his reverie.

"Want to talk about it?" He asked, trying to sound like he wasn't pushing for an explanation. He knew this young man well. A stubborn one and is not easily to spill his problem even to a close friend.

"You were right." Ran finally answered after a long pause.

"Which part?" He asked silently.

"That in the end I will be the one who is going to hurt."

"Crawford left you?" Yuushi straightened up, focusing his eyes to the man who was trying not to look straight at him.

"Left?" Ran look up at the blond, making a slight eye contact and smile sadly. Leaning forward, he reached for a cigarette pack on the table, pulling out a stick, lighting it and took a long puff. He closed his eyes trying not to cry in front of his friend. "He practically threw me away."

Something had went terribly wrong in their relationship that led to this break up. Yuushi personally never approved of Ran having a relationship with the Gaijin. Not because of he was a former enemy, he just didn't trust him.

He knew that this relationship would not work out Ran will end up hurt. And once the redhead was hurt, he will never recover from it.

And, the end result will be devastating.

Now, his worst fear came true.

Ran was a person who actually starved for affection. He was lonely. He didn't admit it and concealed it with his cold and stoic expression. But once in a while, when he knew Ran was not looking and thought that he was alone, Yuushi noticed his longing expression. When his sister left him after he worked so hard for her, he could see the younger man's world crumbling down. He refused to talk to anyone for months.

Until, Crawford came to the younger man life. Pursuing him. Ran finally opened up a little and at last made a decision to be with the man.

Bound by happiness at that moment Ran forgot of the main rule, that is…

Nothing last forever.

But some things could last forever if Ran didn't decide to choose Crawford. If only.. he would choose…

Yuushi knew that Yohji had a crush towards the beautiful creature that was now smoking and trying hard to conceal his sadness. The lanky blond had confessed his feeling towards his friend when he met him in one of the bar.

He remembered Yohji saying, trying to get Ran to notice him is like pouring water in the drain and he might as well give up chasing after the redhead when it is clear that Ran will never return his feelings and Ran seems to be genuinely happy with the American.

The blond didn't like Crawford either but that doesn't mean that Ran will lose him as his friend. That so called playboy of the Weiss seems to be so sincere and serious about this redhead.

And he himself...

Yuushi shook his head; he didn't understand this beautiful but complicated creature. Out of all people why did Ran decide to give his heart to that arrogant prick?

"He's getting married." The redhead announced after another long pause and with his second cigarette stuck in his mouth.

"Huh?" Yuushi eyebrow twitched at the news.

"Next month." He laughed. "Getting married to his old sweetheart, or whatever crap. I feel like a thr…"

"No. You are not." Yuushi cut in, knowing exactly what the redhead wanted to say. "He is the one who is not good enough for you. He is a big time moron for letting someone like you go."

"He is isn't, he?"

"When did this happen, Ran?"

"Hmm… three weeks ago."

"You didn't tell me."

"What's the point of telling? It's not like any of my teammates or you can do anything about it."

Ran gave him a blank look before getting up from the couch in an abrupt movement. "Thank you."

"For what? And where are you going?" Yuushi got up from his seat and grabbed the redhead wrist as he makes his movement towards the door.

"Thank you for listening…" he paused and turn staring at the blond, pullimg his wrist away from the grip. Yuushi had a sudden urge just to grab the lost looking man in front of him, but… reluctantly he let the hand go.

"Back to Koneko. Back to Weiss… Back to my old self…" He sighed. "And Honjyou…"

"Hmm… ?"

"Don't tell any of my teammate about this. I don't want them to know."

Yuushi nodded in agreement. "Are you sure you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I? He told me to carry on… whatever that means. But I guess I should do as he says… Carry on."

"You want me to send you back to the shop?"

"No! I think I just walk."

"Walk? Are you serious? It's far from here. And it's going to rain."

"Don't worry. May be the rain is good to cool off." Ran raised his hand like he wanted to touch his friend, but dropped it as he was about to reach the other blond face. Instead, he gave his friend one of his rare smiles before he walked off. "We might never see each other again…." He whispered, knowing that Yuushi would not hear it.

Yuushi had another bad feeling as he watched his friend strolled off towards the street. He would call Yohji and asked him to watch after Ran.

TBC in Part 2…

And NO! Ran would not commit suicide! Don't assume… hahahahaha

To the reviewers in the ffnet, thanks a lot. Sorry I couldn't make the thank you note individually. hugs all reviewers


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